My Ink

I took the long way around to salvation. You could say I was a “perversion to conversion” story. You could say I was a mini-drama, of course if you had known me back then you would have said maxi drama.

The short, Lifetime Movie Network , version is that my whole life changed when I was 13 years old. When I was 13 my father decided to end his own life and shot himself in the head with a 44 Magnum. My mother never recovered. From that day forward I took care of her, our home, our business and myself. I did a pretty good job with her, the house and the business….not so much with me.

By the time I graduated high school my mother had been in and out of several mental facilities, had tried to take her own life and had moved away without telling me where she went. Now, 18 years old, I was abusing alcohol and my body. I had no sense of worth and no concept that I needed one. That’s what guys were for.

By 24 I was married which was a relationship that ended 5 years later marred by alcoholism, drug abuse, infidelity, and emotional and physical abuse. Add to that I was an exotic dancer and a witchcraft practitioner.

At 32 I was defeated, exhausted and broken into a million non-repairable pieces. It seemed I had sold my soul, my body and my heart bit by bit for pennies on the dollar. In Dallas Texas I was invited to church and on my second visit finally surrendered my heart, soul and body to the highest bidder. The One who had paid the ultimate price for me. I ran into the arms of a Man who would never hurt me and vowed only to love me. He promised never to leave me or forsake me. He promised to be my Daddy, my Brother, my Friend, my Healer and my King. And I have lived His promises.

That was 6 years ago. My heart has been made whole and my worth discovered not in who I am but who He is through me. My value is not what I see in the mirror and has a price tag no one can afford but my Savior. His word has restored me. He brought me back to life.

There were those who dwelt in darkness and in the shadow of death, 
Prisoners in misery and chains,
Because they had rebelled against the words of God,
And spurned the counsel of the Most High.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death.
And broke their bands apart.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for His loving kindness,
and to His wonders to the sons of men!
For He has shattered gates of bronze,
And cut bars of iron asunder.
Psalm 107: 10, 13-16 
Psalm 52: 8-9