Today my heart is full of mommy joy….these are words I wrote sometime back to try to explain the wonder of her arrival in our lives, to somehow quantify how beautifully God had fulfilled every desire of my heart….playing with her today only further reminds me how He longs to do the same for each of us.
You are right, there are things that I traded in adoption. But nothing that I was cheated on.
No, I never felt the excitement of telling Jon I was pregnant. Instead I felt the delight of telling him about the baby that we could love.
No, I did not know the exact due date to have my child's nursery ready by. But I did get to decorate and prepare her room with all the joy and enthusiasm of any expectant mother.
No, I did not have a baby shower before my baby was born. I had it when she was two months old and it was all the sweeter.
No, I never felt her stir in my womb. Instead I felt the flutter of my heart when I first laid eyes on her in that hospital crib.
No, I did not go to the hospital with a specially packed bag to check in to Labor & delivery. I went to the hospital with a special bag packed to bring home my baby.
No, I did not stare at her through a nursery window; instead I stared at her in a rocking chair the first time I held her.
No, I did not feel the anxiety and pain of labor. I felt the anxiety and pain of biological visits and a six-hour mediation as I pushed to make her mine.
No, we did not have visitors in the hospital to smile and dote over her the day she was born, but we had a courtroom full of friends to smile and dote over her the day we adopted her.
No, I did not get to send out birth announcements; I got to send out adoption announcements.
No, I never conceived my daughter in my womb, I conceived her in my heart.