The Tired Factor Blog Experiment DAY ONE:
For today I was determined to get up by 5:30 am to have quiet time with God so last night I wanted to be in bed lights out by 10 pm. I managed lights out before 11, what can I say, husbands happen. Oddly enough I had a hard time falling asleep. I was nervous, anxious, on edge, whatever ya wanna call it about having to get up early. Now mind you I am usually up by or before 6:00 am per the little voice on the bedside monitor blinking bright green to the beat of "mamma, mamma" so 5:30 was not that much of a stretch but it seemed so daunting—seriously---like I might die or something if I got up at 5:30. It was hard to even think about and I was worried that if I managed to pull it off that I would be zombie like the rest of the day.
Per my wise friend's advice I put my alarm clock a.k.a. Blackberry on the bathroom counter so when it went off I was forced to get out of bed to shut it off rather than just lay in bed, eyes half closed, slowly (who are we kidd'in) quickly seduced back to sleep by warm covers. I actually woke up a few minutes before 5:30 and pushed myself out of bed—I kid you not, full out mental conversation about having to get up and a large part of why I actually did get up was because I knew I was going to have to type about it tonight to you. I would love to tell you that it is all about my champion spirit, my warrior heart, my do or die mentality but no, all because I have chosen to be accountable and transparent to you dear reader and I could not bear to admit failure on Day One.
I settled in the living room to have my quiet time but my brain was so jumbly, like I could not string two coherent thoughts together. I knew the enemy was trying to jack up my game so all I could think to do was pray for other people and try to think of a scripture that says I am not as crazy as I was feeling at 5:40 in the morning. I kept thinking of the verse that says we have the mind of Christ…I could never remember where it is in the bible so if you know email it to me or post it as a comment PLEASE!
Bella started waking up just a bit before 6 am so I did not get in that much quiet time but the point was that I chose victory today. I was radical. I got up. I did something different. I broke my mold. I charted a new course. The day itself was average. Nothing amazing happened. No big fat check in the mail box, no eager message from a publisher, no life altering creative thought. BUT I forged a new path. I told what was holding me back that it no longer had any power over me. And guess what? I did not die from getting up at 5:30. My day was not even riddled with yawns. I was, I am, vibrant. Interestingly enough as I sit here to type that ugly little voice that told me I was too tired to get up is now trying to convince me that since all I did was get up a wee bit early and pray a little that it does not really count because it is not like I worked out or wrote or met any of my other goals. Whatever! That is such a load of fooey! But see that is how this madness called warfare works….tiny little red man takes a grain of truth (I did not work out) mixes it with any remnants of lingering self doubt (my thighs really do need some attention and geez, what if I can't ever squeeze out enough morning time for God and working out??? Oh the panic!) and voila you think you are a loser and the day's victory through Christ gets lost in the muck of our own tiny selfish minds. Well, NO MORE I TELL YOU! And guess what? When I rolled myself out of bed this morning I pummeled that whiny voice so while it is trying to yap in my ear right now in hopes that I will give up my quest I KNOW today's action has cemented my getting up tomorrow, and the next day and the next! You know what we call that?? Faith! Certainty! Bravado! Greatness! Progress! Firm thighs, books written, goals accomplished, and a legacy left!!!!
Day One is a success as measured by meeting my goal of getting up by 5:30 and starting my day with God. Some might say that is a baby step but for me it was climbing a mountain because my body said I was tired and my mind said I could start tomorrow to which my heart said that I AM full of greatness and at 5:26 in the morning with blurry eyes and a fuzzy robe I finally listened.
Tomorrow Day Two.
Therefore, prepare your minds for action;
be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be
given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:13