Interchangeable Parts

Sitting in the UT Southwestern surgery waiting room I am once again find myself in awe of God. I am honored to be sitting with my family of choice as two friends simultaneously undergo surgery in order for one friend to give the other a kidney.

As we all sit together making small talk the conversation keeps gravitating back to how amazing it is that this type of transaction is even possible. A few hours in the operating room and part of one man becomes part of another forever. There is much to marvel at in this story. Watching both their wives in the waiting room I realize why this swap is even happening. Because these two men, these two wives, these two families walk the talk. They talk big about being family of choice, about being the arms and hands of God extended, about living a life of excellence and honor. And they are doing it, big. They both speak of serving a limitless God and with their heroic actions they are proving His faithfulness. We all clapped when the first surgeon came out to tell us the donor's surgery was complete and successful. The nurse seated down the hall said she knew without seeing that it was our group that had applauded. I smiled knowing we had left a stamp of Jesus…..not just because we were excited that the surgeries were going well but we were all so genuinely joyous about what was taking place.

Beyond the love within this exchange is the sheer logistics of it. I mean really? One doctor cuts a hole big enough for his hand to reach through and plucks out a kidney…then in a nearby O.R. the recipient is waiting and bada bing bada boom in pops his new kidney! Of course there is more to it than that, months of testing and preparation, mountains of medicine, hours of prayer. But I find it fascinating that God made us for this sort of thing. That when He created us it was with this ability to bada boom bada bing various body parts to one another. The bible says we are to be like Christ. In Christ we have life, both physically and spiritually and here are these two men who are truly giving life to another, both physically and spiritually.

How miraculous is it that we have the gift of interchangeable parts? That at a set time and place, under the necessary circumstances one person can save another. That two men can give each other hope on a whole new level. That lives can be transformed. Makes one want to ask is anything truly "ours"? Are we too possessive? Do we think we own/change/have anything? Or are we simply here to share our interchangeable parts? So of course that begs the question—what do you have to share? Maybe your faith has not demanded that you give up a kidney….but perhaps you can share your story? A phone call, a word of encouragement, a meal….it is easy for us to look at the kidney as such a BIG gift but I think in God's eyes there is no big or small no fast or slow….a gift is a gift.

So walk your talk. Find what you have to give that was never truly yours but was all the while intended to be for someone else anyway…..just like Jesus came and gave His life, which was never His own, for you. It was always for you. Go be who you are to be for someone else. Give what is the only thing we truly have of our own to give: love.

Just do it

I've always thought when God spoke the mountains moved. I know now that when I listen, believe, embrace, and act upon what He speaks He helps me to move mountains. I think we all know at some point what we are called to do with our lives. Sometimes we don't like it or more often than not we love it but are scared because it seems so much bigger than what we are capable of. And it is. It's supposed to be bigger than us. It would not be a calling, a dream or a life purpose if we could do it on our own. God sized dreams require God. Period.

Now, I've been pretty good about doing lots of good things. Praying, serving, leading…and I've been sort of good at looking like I was working on my calling. I have written a few published articles and I started this blog. Good right? God sized? Hardly.

So here is the straight and the narrow of it, if we know what we are called to do and we don't do it we are being disobedient. Ouch. And no matter how much "close to our calling" good stuff we are doing we are still disobedient. Double ouch. So, this awakening of knowing the difference is revelation, and to have something revealed means we can't go back to not knowing what we now know. We must consciously choose to say ,"ok, Jesus I know you went to the cross for me and all but I am going to stick my head back in the sand and act like you did not make this known to me" or we can say, "ok, Jesus I know you went to the cross for me and all so therefore I've got to believe you can take my actions and the dreams you have laid in my heart and make them happen if I trust in You".

Here is the kicker, Monday God made it clear my lack of faith in His ability to do what seems impossible to me + my pride in thinking somehow I had to do it all on my own = every disconnect I have been feeling. Enter new equation, My big God + My big faith = My big God ordained dream coming to pass in His way, His time and His glory. So Tuesday I acted like a big girl with a big God and made a phone call I was scared to make. And guess what? God leveled the very mountain I was afraid to climb and opened a big door for my dream to flow through. Thursday He opened another one.

I felt stupid when I was dialing the phone. Heck half the time I feel stupid when I write these blog posts. And every time there are voices that say not to do it, that people will laugh, that I'm not qualified, that who am I to think I have something to say? The door that opened Thursday was from me writing my infertility testimony and submitting it. What did both of these mountain leveling, door opening moments have in common? Action. Action taken in faith to face possible rejection and faith that God's ability was bigger than my inability. But if I had just thought about doing these things or just listed them in my journal as things I should do or even just kept praying about whether or not I should do them zero point zero action would have been taken and no doors would have opened.

So in a nutshell, I challenge us both to less lip flapping and more action taking. As Nike would say, just do it!

Mascara? Check.

Today is the first day I have put on mascara in 22 days. 22 days. Wow, I have been va va va voomless for 22 days. Well, today the mascara is back on, va-voomness is on its way back and I am back on track to global domination. My back is still hurting especially with certain movements but my healing has been dramatic and at warp speed. Frankly my husband gets oodles of credit for that because he has literally done everything in order for me to rest. So here is a cyber "thank you" to the greatest man in the world!!! Thanks babe!

Having a broken back gives one the gift (or torture depending upon how you chose to look at it) of lots of time to stare at the ceiling and think. Think…listen to the voices in your head…think some more…then decide which voices you are going to listen too. So I have listened, I have prayed, I have sorted, I have thought, prayed some more and decided it is time to move forward. Rockstar up so to speak. So here is the dish: Every day holds the power of choice. Every reaction, decision, action or lack of action is a choice. You can choose victory or defeat, lack or abundance, self indulgence or discipline, love or selfishness, fear or faith. I chose faith. Coming out of this accident I have to say I see things more clearly…perhaps one would call them priorities? Such as nothing is more essential than my relationship with God, nothing is more precious than time with my family, nothing is impossible for me through Christ and nothing smells sweeter than the top of my daughter's head.

Now none of this may seem earth shattering, it has certainly all been said before but are you acting on it? Hmmmm, ask the voices in your head then tell all of them to zip it that don't line up with what God says is true about you and the future of your dreams. So here I am, mascara on, moving forward. I went to work today and have reignited my personal business and have re-committed myself to my writing. Is that a lot? Maybe. Are my dreams big? No doubt. Do I have a lot to give the world? I'd like to think so. Can I do it all? The Voice says yes.

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment." – Jim Rohn

"Go big or go home" - Unknown but a most fabulous mantra

Kinky?

I was in the car this morning thinking about the amazing women I get to lead and learn from every Tuesday night. I call them Radical Rockstars because I believe the type of transformation they crave can only come through radical action. I honor them for embarking upon a journey few ever brave.

As I was thinking about what us ladies would cover tomorrow night I got a picture of how transformation works. And so let the analogy begin, ya know how when you grab your extension cord and you go to plug it in it inevitably has a few kinks, a couple of knots and all together just does not cooperate. And of course you are in a hurry to get accomplished whatever it is that requires the extension cord so it is just all the more frustrating. So what do you do? You stop everything else and you unroll the cord, you undo any knots and smooth out all the kinks. Then when you go to put it away, having learned from your experience, you neatly roll it back up before you put it away.

Well, transformation works a lot the same way. You keep trying to plug away at "it" (whatever your "it" is) but there seems to be all these kinks and knots slowing you down or blocking your way all together. Now, for those not so radical they just plug in their cord anyway and are only able to accomplish what is within reach of their kinked up and knotty cord. BUT, for those radical enough to take the time to unwind years of disempowering thinking, limiting beliefs and roadblock patterns they are able to reach out and tackle whatever big, bold, bodacious dream God has placed in their hearts.

So, oh great radical one, go unwind your kinky cord why don't ya?

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may proove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Romans 12:2

A moment...

So…yeah….had a moment…..ok, per previous post I am most fired up for tomorrow's faceting to begin. BUT that is tomorrow so tonight I chose the road less faceted and decided that for dinner my daughter and I would pop out to get some good old fashioned fried up and greasy fast food. Now to appreciate this story you have to know that when I am home I tend to go for comfy rather than cute and today was no exception. I figured we were getting window food so no one would see my attire.

Once in the car I noticed the fuel range indicated 7 miles. Uh oh, I forgot I needed gas. Double uh oh, I am rocking out hot pink sweat shorts , a tank top (it is 39 degrees outside) and get this, my granny fanny velour house shoes. Seriously. To grasp the urgency of my impending shame you must know it is Super Bowl Sunday and the streets are busy. Add to that I live in one of the seven most affluent towns in America. And here I am in what can only be described as full out W.T. attire, frankly all I needed at this point to qualify for PeopleOfWalmart.com is a cigarette hanging out of my mouth.

Of course there were about 15 cars at the nearest gas station, all drivers dressed in warm, trendy attire. Glaring was the obvious absence of any other house shoes. Let's just say it takes a most self confident woman to get out of her car and pump gas in light pink rubber soled velour slippers. Oh for the faceting to begin!

58 Facets

Tomorrow is a sort of D Day for me. The first day I officially take the first of many action steps towards my 2010 goals.

Oy.

I mean I am excited….well, more like I am eager to get closer to being the me I feel I can be rather than the me who has allowed herself to stay this side of excellence. I am excited about this line in the sand to prevent me from returning to mediocre-ville. But am I eager to start the action steps? No. Would I rather sleep in and stick to my old habits. Well, duh of course I would 'cause that would be a lot easier. But my new motto is "it is not about easy it is about excellence".

Maybe I think too much. Maybe my dreams are too big. Nah, I don't buy that. I think I and we are just multi-faceted. Yep, that's it. We are like a finely carved gemstone—or better yet we are in the process of becoming a finely carved gemstone, our true brilliance just waiting to be brought out.

So by that word picture of a definition then tonight when I lay out tomorrow's schedule which involves these new action items to reach my goals then what I am really doing is laying out the tools of a jeweler's bench. Tomorrow when I start my day spending intimate time with God it will be the first cut on this raw stone of me. And as I replace old habits with new, intentional behaviors another bit of the raw and non glittering part of me will be carved off.

No diamond was ever brought from raw to light reflecting in one stroke. It takes 58 facets to make a brilliant cut diamond sparkle. I want so much for my little light to shine, not so much because of me but because of the light that lives inside of me. So tomorrow morning rather than roll over to snooze I will roll out of bed ready to be carved into the one and only me I was destined to be. Maybe I am just 58 bold decisions away from my inner brilliance…..maybe so are you.