I am the word police. I have an almost physical reaction to people speaking negatively over themselves or a situation. "I will never get rid of these hips" "I could never afford that". As a special needs mom I find I walk a tight rope between agreement and argument. I get that some things just are what they are but there is this part of me that is always holding out for the miraculous.
A friend asked me Friday if Bella will every speak "normally". Many experts say "no" but I believe she will. So I have taken to speaking over Bella that she will be a voice to her generation. She has a genetic condition (Sotos Syndrome) that causes her to never stop growing, hence she is much larger than the children in her age group and runs a little on the "thick" side. Often people will say to her, "you are getting so big" and I always say "yes, she is getting tall!". Or someone will tell her she looks pretty or cute and she has learned to say, "and smart". Bella has taken to saying "mommy, after I'm good....(insert whatever it is she's wanting)" and every time I say "Bella is always good, you mean after you make good choices?" and she starts her sentence over. Perhaps I am being a bit rigid or over zealous? Maybe. But I 100% believe that our words shape us, our beliefs, therefore our choices and our lives. Every child will spend his life acting out of what he believes is true about himself and the world at large. Experts say these beliefs are set in place by the time a child is 8 years old. If that holds true it means I have 2 and a half more years to help Bella define who she believes she is and what the world holds.
There are and will be plenty of voices that tell Bella she can't or won't or never will....I am resolved to fill her with as much YES as I can. The enemy of her sweet little soul's number one hope is that he can steal the power of her yes. That she will stumble on the rock of only being beautiful, that she will shrink back her voice in doubt of it's strength, that she will deny herself the capacity of big dreams because she feels unworthy. No, no, no, not on my watch sweet Bean. I will be the weird word police mom that makes you say "I am smart, I am beautiful and I am strong" rather than just complimenting your prettiness. I will hold you to accountable for your actions but I hope to teach you that your value is never changed by outward circumstance and above all that no matter what your voice is that God's voice is ever speaking love and victory inside of you, over you, behind you and before you.
Signed, the unapologetically weird word mom
"The Lord's promise is sure. He speaks no careless word; all He says is purest truth, like silver seven times refined." -- Psalms 14: 6