Did you think I abandoned the experiment? Nope, actually last Tuesday morning I took a wee little tumble down the last 4 or 5 of my stairs and broke two vertebrae in my back.
It has been a rough week and a half since then. I feel hugely blessed and grateful that I am not in the hospital in traction or paralyzed. The emergency room doctor said it was a very rare break he has seen only one or two other times (leave it to me to be unique). I am at home sort of on bed rest. I am able to walk but have to keep it pretty simple or the pain is quite intolerable. My sweet husband has had to take over everything, all child care, all well everything….I can walk from the bed to the sofa and back and that is about it. Today is the first day I have been up to typing.
The downtime is hard for me and I am trying to figure out why. I mean I get that I am a naturally stay busy kind of person and would like to believe that I really am driven to be more than I am. But I believe God is in control of everything and if I believe that then I have to believe this down time is for a reason and something is supposed to come out of it. Perhaps as I basically have zero control right now it is a lesson in the fact that I can live and be fulfilled without having everything under my thumb. Maybe it is a time to reflect on what I truly, truly want in my life. Perhaps it is a time that I can be quiet enough to complete some things that require time I never seem to give them....perhaps God was so enjoying our time together from The Tired Factor Blog Experiment He thought we should get some more uninterrupted time? Ha ha ha, no I do not believe He caused this, but I do believe He will help me find the good things within it if I let Him. And while all of the above may be true what most resonates within me is that maybe, just maybe I have been defining myself by what all I do rather than Whose I am. And if I believe God has laid on my heart to share with women Whose they are then I better be darn toot'in sure where my true identity rests.